


Sakura's Children

by Ariss_Tenoh



Category: CLAMP - Works, X -エックス- | X/1999
Genre: Complete, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 19:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1699487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariss_Tenoh/pseuds/Ariss_Tenoh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the outskirts of Tokyo, there is a small house with an ever-blooming garden. This is the story of its inhabitants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sakura's Children

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on April 6th 2013 but written a year or two before that.

On the outskirts of Tokyo, there is a small house with a garden. Within its garden's walls, Camellias and Cherry Blossom trees bloom all year round in defiance of time and its seasons. There, the final chapter of an old story is about to begin.......

 

...... He opens the gate and steps into the house's grounds. He closes the gate behind him. He can feel the wards wash over him, sliding into place, and enveloping him in their protective embrace. For in this house resides a treasure beyond compare; he thinks so and so did its previous owner. He slowly walks on the stone path leading to the house. There is no hurry. This day has been long in the making and he intends to cherish every moment in it. He will fulfil its promise with the solemn dignity and respect it deserves. A few stray pink petals drift past his face and he stops for a moment to look at the Sakura trees' flowering branches. The trees are planted all around the house; powerful protection and bitter reminder.

 

He finds that person in the bedroom on the upper floor. The screen door is pushed gently open. A feeling of extreme fragility swells in his chest. He feels as if any sound or abrupt movement he makes would break that person. It occurs to him that perhaps this is emotional anguish he is experiencing. He pushes the feeling aside, to be examined later. Today is not about him but the person seated in front of the round mirror.

 

"Subaru, how are you today?" He enters the room and slides the door shut. He hopes his voice is normal, pleasant, but he doubts it is.

 

The person sitting before the mirror smiles, the same gentle smile he has seen so often over the years.

 

"I'm fine. Will you help me dress?" He gestures to a long, rectangular wooden box. Subaru's voice is low. It's always so low that it's like a whisper.

 

He wonders if Subaru has lost the ability to speak normally like he has lost so many other things in his life. But he moves toward the box that is near the bed roll. The house had been re-decorated after Subaru moved into it at the end of the war, but many of the old pieces of furniture remained. It became a mix of Western and Japanese styles. A contradiction in appearances and meanings. It fits the character of its resident, he thought.

 

The kimono inside the box was extravagant even by ceremonial standards. Yards of heavy, richly embroidered silk with an off-white background and filled in with gold thread in the shape of spider webs, pink and white Sakura petals scattered across the robe and the pentagrams of Onmyoujitsu, upright and inverted, were cleverly embroidered in the corners. The under-robe was palest pink while the Obi was a gold and crimson affair, stiff and heavy in his hands as he tied it into place. He had seen Subaru wear it only once before; the first time they met. To see Subaru wearing it again was thrilling, yet disquieting. Perhaps it was simply inevitable. When the elaborate kimono was satisfactorily draped and worn by Subaru, the man gives him a small red comb. He was told it belonged to his grandmother. He feels the oppressive weight of history suffocating him as he holds the small comb. Did all events lead to this day?

 

Subaru's reflection in the mirror closes its eyes and retains its smile. He combs Subaru's waist-length hair again and again. The repetitive motion seems to calm the man. He finishes and places the comb on the dressing table. He kneels behind the man and puts his arms around Subaru. Even at fifteen, he is much taller than Subaru. He breathes in Subaru's scent and whispers, "Must you go?"

 

The mismatched eyes of green and gold open and gaze at him. "We both knew this day would come. I regret the pain it will cause you. You know I would spare you this if I could," Subaru says in his quiet voice.

 

It hurts. It hurts because it's true and Subaru can't avoid this and neither can he.

 

"Am I not enough for you?" His voice wavers slightly, suppressing powerful emotions.

 

Subaru turns around and places a hand on his cheek.

 

"Seishirou, I love you. Never doubt that. We've had ten beautiful years together. You've given me peace and happiness when I thought it impossible to face another day."

 

"But?" He sounds like a petulant child but he can't help it.

 

"No person can take the place of another. Your place in my heart is different from his but it is just as precious. You _are_ dear to me."

 

He nods, a jerky movement unworthy of them both. Seishirou knows life isn't fair and some things can only be accepted, not challenged.

 

"Come now. She will be here soon. While we still have time later after she leaves."

 

He nods again and takes a deep breath. His mask of calm indifference is in place and he sees the approving look on Subaru's face. Subaru holds out his hands and Seishirou takes hold of them, preparing to help Subaru down the narrow stairs......

 

............... It's a beautiful day. The sky is clear and blue. The sun is shining. The weather is really nice for this time of year.

 

How unfair, she thinks.

 

She is waiting for the gate to open but she doesn't have to wait long before he comes. They spend a long moment staring at one another. What does he think when he looks at her? She doesn't like him, she knows that. she can't help the resentment she feels every time she meets him. This was the one who stole her father from her.

 

"You came alone?"

 

He sounds angry for some reason. "Yes," she answers, "I wanted to come alone today."

 

He seems to understand and he allows her to enter the house. She can feel the wards opening a little, like a door opened halfway, to let her come in.

 

"He's waiting for you."

 

She follows him into the house.............

 

.............. Subaru is seated at the low table when she enters. Seishirou doesn't look at them and walks out to wait in the garden.

 

"Sakura, please sit." He gestures to the place in front of him.

 

She sits before him in the formal position, knees tucked under her. Pose all proper and back straight. He pours her tea. Steam rises gently from the delicate cup. He struggles to finish pouring for them both. He can see her looking at his shaking hands but she is too polite to comment. He's grateful for that. He pushes a plate of sweets toward her. She drinks the tea, nibbles on the sweets, and he waits for her to finish before he asks her about her life and her studies. His daughter speaks in a calm and self-assured manner, unlike children her age. She is only twelve but living with Subaru's grandmother means lessons upon lessons. For once, Subaru is glad for those lessons. They will prepare her for her role and its responsibilities. Their relationship is strange and awkward; they both know it but try their best. This is only the sixth time they meet and it will be the last. Subaru feels a sharp pang of regret. He is grateful for his grandmother's suggestion years ago, that he bequeath her a grandchild to inherit the clan's title, even if by use of his sperm, before the fateful year began and Tokyo became a sea of flames and sorrow. He never wanted children of his own until he met a daughter he didn't know existed. Human nature is so contrary.

 

Soon, the safe topics between them are exhausted. Father and daughter look at one another.

 

"Father," she sounds hesitant, "This is goodbye isn't it?"

 

Subaru tries to smile. She is so young, a mere child and he will not be there to see her grow into a woman.

 

"Yes, I'm sorry Sakura." He always seems to hurt the ones he loves.

 

She takes a deep breath, her small frame shuddering. "It's all right, Father. I.. I think I knew when you sent your shikigami to me. And you've been sick for a long time." Her green eyes meet his, luminous with unshed tears.

 

"I've never been a good father to you so I hope you won't mind but will you promise me something, Sakura?"

 

"Of course," she hurries to reassure him as if he is the child and she the parent.

 

"Promise me that no matter what happens in the future, no matter what you face, you will always think of yourself first. Treasure yourself, Sakura." Subaru is aware he is leaning forward across the table. Her hand clasps his. He is afraid that she doesn't understand yet. How could she? She is still so young.

 

But his daughter tries. She looks serious and replies, "I promise. I'll think of myself first and I won't let anyone bully me into anything."

 

Ah, perhaps she does have an inkling of what is to come. For a moment, short as a rapid heartbeat, she looks so much like her aunt and Subaru wants to weep. He gives her a smile and a nod. It will have to do and he hopes she will remember this. He picks up a black velvet bag and slides it across the table. Sakura's small hands reach for it and she unties the strings. Inside the bag are the daggers of the Sumeragi Clan Head, Subaru can see by her expression that she knows their symbolism and function. Sakura bows deeply, though she is seated. Subaru can see his grandmother's lessons here. She raises her eyes and meets his sad gaze.

 

"I will remember and keep the promise." She smiles, a small smile of genuine affection. The first she's ever given him, he realises. "After all Father, you named me after what is most precious to you."

 

It is true. His only request if his grandmother were to go ahead with her plan was to name his child 'Sakura' if it was born a girl. Fate can be fickle at times.

 

Subaru is relieved. He knows he has no right to ask anything of her. She has already given him a great gift; she doesn't hate him.

 

"Be well, Sakura."

 

"Thank you. Goodbye, Father." She stands and bows again.

 

The sight of her small figure fills him with warmth today and he can't utter another word. She seems to sense their meeting has ended and takes her leave of him. He bids her farewell and watches her leave, trying to imprint her in his memory.......

 

............. Sakura is standing outside, staring at the ground. She won't cry. She won't. The sun is warm on her back yet she feels very cold. Her guide is waiting and he walks her to the gate. She can feel the wards pushing her to leave. This house doesn't like her. The bag is heavy in her hands and she hugs it, feeling cold and alone. He opens the gate for her and lifts the wards. Before she leaves, she has to ask. He is a lot taller than her so she has to look up at him.

 

"You will assume the title tonight?" She doesn't think he will do it before night falls.

 

He stares at her for so long that she doesn't think he will answer her. Is he angry that she knows?

 

"Yes."

 

One word. One answer. As if he doesn't care but she knows that's not true. Sakura nods. She turns away, she can't look at him anymore.

 

"You won't hurt him more than you have to?" She feels she must ask.

 

"How do you know?"

 

Sakura looks at him. He sounded angry but his face looks normal.

 

"I just know." Now she's the one who sounds angry. Stubbornness is unattractive, her great grandmother always said it but it doesn't seem to work on her.

 

They stare at each other again before he turns his face away.

 

"You should go."

 

He gestures at the gate. She steps outside and immediately feels lighter; the spells have released her from their hold. It's not noon yet but the meeting with her father seems long ago.

 

"Goodbye," she tells him. He doesn't answer and he disappears from her sight when the gate closes.

 

Sakura knows she won't see him or her father again. She needs to find a taxi and go to the train station. She needs to catch the train to Kyoto and return home. She'll cry when she gets back to her room in the Sumeragi Estate. She'll cry... but not yet...............

 

.............Seishirou is glad the girl left. She makes him uncomfortable. Too many similarities and differences to Subaru and he doesn't like to be reminded of her existence. He should get back to the house instead of standing here in the garden. Subaru is waiting for them to have lunch together; he eats early so he can take his medication. Something about today though keeps his thoughts in the past, he remembers their first meeting:

 

_The little boy was brought by his handler to an unfamiliar room in the house. The room was large and dark even with all the candles lit. He was ushered inside and the door closed quickly behind him. He could see someone was sitting at the low table. The person was wearing a pretty white and pink kimono and had long black hair. Had his mother finally come to take him away from here? He takes a small step toward that person._

_"Are you Subaru?" The boy asked, he wanted to know but he was afraid. It was very important that he know._

_"Why do you ask?"_

_The person, woman, wearing the kimono had a nice voice. The boy decided to tell her the truth. Maybe she will answer him._

_"Father said my mother's name is Subaru. He said she'd come to take me with her to Tokyo." He was afraid of being disappointed but he'd dreamed of this for so long._

_"Yes, my name is Subaru... Come closer. I want to see you." There was a strange quality to the woman's tone but he was too young to understand._

_His mother was very pretty just like he imagined her to be. She had long black hair and pretty gold and green eyes. Her hands were soft on his face. She seemed to be looking for something in his face._

_"What is your name?"_

_It didn't occur to the boy that it was strange his mother didn't know his name. He was so happy she finally came to get him._

_"Seishirou," he told her and watched her face become strange like she was going to cry. But she didn't cry and kept patting his face and his hair like she couldn't believe he was standing in front of her._

_"Your father has a morbid sense of humour," she whispered to him like it was a secret between the two of them and she kissed his forehead._

_The boy was five years old. He didn't understand the meaning of those words. He was filled with joy and he hugged his mother, her arms tightened around him. It would be years before he understood what his father had done._

 

~ End ~


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